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2011-04-06 - An Outlook On Life
Normally, the La Gian catgirl is a regular presence both on the SuiKyosha and in the hangars of the Raven's Nest. However, the last few days she has put in for some personal time. For most, this might not exactly be cause for alarm, but for those who knew how dedicated Sinya usually is to her projects, it certainly is surprising behavior. Even Ling seemed shocked by it, since it halted his training and sidetracked a number of hangar projects. But why? The guess of most of the SuiKyosha's hangar crew is that it had to do with the confrontation with Feng Liu. All Ling knew was that she had claimed she needed a 'break' from the ship for a few days. Still, that didn't explain why she hadn't been seen at /all/. Unusually, Sinya isn't in her usual mechanic's gear. Instead, she's dressed in street clothes: a tight fitting tank-top with a jacket thrown over it, accompanied by a pair of blue jeans. "Radio. This is Sinya, launch control code 13A. Heading out for the day." Wrapped around her head is a strange silvery control harness, which looks like a prototype of something that might normally be in a flight helmet. "Copy. You're cleared for takeoff." Nodding, Sinya climbs into her unit's chest, settling into the controls and letting out a sigh. "Alright. Let's get some air." Arius's thrusters go to full, launching the guymelef into the air as it shifts into flight-mode, zipping across the skyline. The path Southwards is enough to have her zipping by the SuiKyosha, although the catgirl seems to refuse any communication from the ship. It is a short flight to the ocean, the beaches stretching out along the coastline of Hindustania. This is where the guymelef finally sets down. Up on a high overlook which has a beautiful view of the ocean crashing below, Arius settles to one knee. This is where Sinya can be found, sitting not far from the edge of the precipice, a sketchpad in her hands. There doesn't seem to be anyone in sight, leaving the whole area quiet and calm. The fact that Sinya has practically been avoiding and staying away from the SuiKyosha had not gone unnoticed by the one known as Yu Zhi Wu. At first, it had been signs within Xiang himself; though to everyone else, he may have seemed the same - showing little to no response - she could see those little signs. It did help that she was connected to him through more than conventional means, but... that was different. When she noticed the initial signs, putting the pieces together had not taken too long. When the Guymelef speeds past the SuiKyosha, Yu happened to be standing on the upper deck, looking outside. Catching this sight, she moved into the hangar and began breaking a set of large boxes... looking for something. The hangar crew watched her with interest. Some of the boxes were marked as hers, from the supplies that had been brought by mister Ardygun. A broken crowbar later and a severe kick to the edge of the cargo box has it opening, and a whole bunch of packing peanuts coming out. "The hell...? Yu mutters, staring at the mysterious white objects. Cut to Yu Zhi Wu, on a big yet sleek black motorcycle that would make Cloud jealous. Money can buy you anything, was a lesson she'd learned very early on. A dark blue glow shines upon her from the three rouned 'screens' that indicate speed and other statistics to her. A RideBack, though she had no clue how to use it other than as a motorcycle at the moment. Instructions were for dweebs. And using this thick tired motorcycle, she chases along the landscape, a headphone connected for someone on the SuiKyosha to give her directions. Cut to the beach, and Yu Zhi Wu showing just how good her balance is, even on the soft sand. The black machine wobbles only slightly as she moves up and down some tiny sand hills, and she doesn't stop until she has parked herself right at the bottom of the stone overlook, and gets off from the machine. She isn't wearing a helmet or anything like that. Instead, she moves her hands between her neck and hair, and then pushes along to 'swing' her hair into the wind for a moment. Somehow, even though she'd driven so fast, it wasn't an absolute mess. Her eyes then turn towards Sinya, and the Arius. And she just stands there for a moment, feeling the wind passing though her hair, and the warm air clinging to her body. It felt kind of nice, but she'd prefered the feeling of the wind trying to cut through her clothing. "Miss Leland!" She calls out, before she begins walking up the pathway to try and meet the girl at the top. At first, the sound of the wind and the waves drowns out the sound of the motorcycle completely. Even though it makes the pages of her sketchpad flutter, Sinya seems to be enjoying the breeze which blows her hair back from her face, her nose twitching with the ocean smells. On the page, her pencil draws out something one certainly wouldn't expect. It isn't a mech, or a machine, or anything remotely mechanical. Instead, it's a drawing of Ling. The sketch, done completely in pencil strokes, would probably be considered fine art in many contexts, but today it simply is a release. Just as her fingers manage the finishing touches on the drawing, one ear twitches to the sound of a motor nearby. At the very least, it's a good thing that Yu Zhi Wu hadn't taken one of the gunmen to chase down Sinya, because that would have been a dead give-away for her approach. Worse, if it had been the Azure Dream, the catgirl might have just gotten into her guymelef and flown off. This, however, brings only curiousity as she blinks, peeking over the edge of the cliff face to look down at the motorcycle. As her eyes catch sight of the rider, Sinya lets out a breath. Even at times like these, the Chinese woman certainly had a way about her. There is a grace, a refinement, and an attractiveness that isn't lost on the catgirl, even if women aren't exactly her gender of choice. "Why am I not surprised." She murmurs to herself. "And of course, she could be wearing a potato sack and make it look like cover-art." The fact is, as much as Sinya, herself, could clean up and be stunningly attractive - she simply didn't see that kind of beauty in herself. Tucking her sketchbook under her arm, Sinya sighs and then pushes herself to her feet. The wind is still blowing back her ears, although it's easy enough to hear the voice calling. "I'm off duty today, Zhi Wu. You know that." She uses the more informal version of the XO's name, taking a few paces towards Arius. The guymelef serves as a good enough wind-block, especially with his wings extended. "I know!" Yu Zhi Wu replies, yelling against the wind, to make sure Sinya would hear her. The walk up the mountain is not a particular long one, but the way up is a bit steep. The SuiKyosha's XO however, seems to have absolutely no problems with climbing it. The wind continues to play with her hair, but it fails to actually fall into her face. It pulls slightly on her clothing, and her legs end up exposed due to the slit that is on the left side of her legs, reaching all the way up to just beneath her waist. When she finally reaches the top of the overlook however, her gaze doesn't go towards Sinya, but insteaad to that sketchbook first. "I'm sorry I am interupting your little R&R..." She begins, putting one arm along her side, and the other to lean on it - so she can cup her head on her hand. She looks pensive for a moment. She then drops her hands and puts them at her side. "We need to talk." The then claims, somewhat harshly. "Because my captain is currently being all mooshy and heartbroken, and I can't stand it." She shakes her head a bit. "To see him sad, that is." Sinya's eyes follow the path of the Chinese woman, head shaking ever so slightly from side to side. Some day, she really would need to figure out how to master that kind of grace. Running a hand through her hair, she walks over to where they could stand in the lee of the guymelef's wing, out of the path of the wind. "It's usually considered impolite to tail someone." Her expression is hard to read, although the irritated twitch of her tail shows that the mechanic isn't all that fond of having her time interrupted, regardless of the reason for it. "Next time just leave a message and I'll..." She cuts herself off as Yu gives her that 'We need to talk'. This is the second time in nearly as many days that someone has said that, but this time she doesn't have quite the humor to make a joke out of it. "Apparently that's a popular activity. You might want to get in line." She leans back against the metal of her guymelef's wing, folding her arms over her chest. Whatever else she might have snapped, it gets swollowed down by what the Chinese woman says next. "Wait, what?" Her head tilts, sounding obviously a bit confused. The harsh attitude causes her to tense slightly, a fight-or-flight response, and at this point it's fight. "Heartbroken? I didn't even know he /had/ a heart behind that stone wall that could break." It's a bit of a mean thing for her to say, but it's clear that the words are having an effect on her. She growls slightly under her breath, which is a warning side to how tense her mood actually is. "I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything to him." She pauses, then corrects herself. "Okay, I scratched him, but that was his fault. He's lucky he didn't get worse when he grabbed me." Yu sighs and shakes her head sightly when she receives he hostile behavior of Sinya. It was somewhat unexpected, and when she finally talks about her claws - even though she stands at a good few feet away from the girl, she does take a step back. Bad memories, always bothering her. She closes her eyes for a moment, and tries to freeze her face much like Xiang tends to do. It's not quite perfect, but somehow she suddenly looks somewhat like her. "I always speak for my people." She lowers her voice. Then quickly 'returns to normal'. "Like that, right?" She asks, smiling wryly. "He has a heart behind that hard complexion of his. But things are... rather delicate and difficult on board that ship. I heard from him that he's told you of the fact that the ship is a living being - or rather, that he tol dyou that it can read the surface of minds and transmit thoughts and emotions?" She pauses. "Don't worry." She moves her hand a bit. "You haven't done anything /to/ him other than not being around. That guy always tries too hard." She pauses for a moment. "No, he /thinks/ too hard. He rarely lets his emotions loose. But..." Again she pauses, returning to that previous pensive look. She looks over Sinya. "I guess he sees something more in you that just another girl. You aren't just another crewmember or employee to him, you know?" Unlike Xiang, unlike the SuiKyosha, unlike /who knows/ how many people, Yu Zhi Wu knows what she wants to say. She knows what is going on. She knows not to dance around the subject. She sighs. "I'm sorry for ruining your little R&R with this bit of information. But I figured you'd need to know. Weren't you connected to him for a short moment of time? Didn't you feel the intensity of his heart?" Somehow, it's that step back that Yu makes that seems to snap Sinya out of her more agressive posture. Her fingers twitch, drawing her claws back inward and her entire body seems to shift, eyes drawing away. Her ears shift backwards, slicking along her skull. "Sorry." She murmurs quickly, taking a few deep breaths. "You don't deserve that." For a moment, Sinya places her head against the cool metal of Arius's wing, feeling some comfort from that contact. When her eyes look back, it is to see the vissage of Xiang portrayed in Yu's features. "Like that." She admits, nodding her head, although it's clear the worst of the outburst has passed. The past few days have been confusing at best for Sinya, which has left her dealing with a lot of her own emotions in her solitude. The talk with Edward had helped somewhat, but there is still so much left behind. Things like that are all to easy to run from, rather than deal with. "I know that, Zhi Wu." She licks once at the back of her hand, then rubs it over her ear, trying to ease some of the discomfort her own words had left in her stomach. "I've been trying to get him to open up since that first time I visited the ship. Trying to get him to be himself, but it's so damn hard of a fight." She balls her hands into fists, clanging one against the metal wing. "It's like Xiang Yuan is just an act. A role that he plays, and I'm chasing around a ghost." Perhaps, in many ways, Sinya isn't actually far from the truth in what she says. That catlike way of sometimes reading people that might not be quite the supernatural level of a newtype, but it can be right more often than it's wrong. "I could care less about Xiang Yuan the Emporer, with his duties and customs. He's my employer. The saddest part of it is that it's the ghost that I care about, and sometimes I don't even know if that ghost is real or not, or if it's just my imagination playing with me." At the very least, she had come out and admitted her own feelings, even if it was only to Yu Zhi Wu. "I..." She starts to try to explain about what she'd felt when the SuiKyosha touched her mind, but confusion just lingers on her face. "I don't really know what I felt." Her hand lifts, rubbing against her temple just below the headset that wraps her forehead. "I was pretty screwed up then, and then I had this second set of emotions overlayed on mine, and I couldn't make any sense of it." Her eyes look towards Yu, searching for understanding. "You know Xiang, you share his secrets, you know about what is going on." These aren't questions, but statements of fact, as if she were sure of these things. "I don't. Why me? Why was the ship trying to reach out to /me/? I'm no one. A mechanic, an ex-slave, a contract worker to get your people up to speed. What good am I to some intelligent ship?" Yu... chuckles. And of course, she immediately appologizes. "Oh, he's no ghost. But things are very complicated. I can't exactly share his story with you, since it is not mine to tell. But I can assure you, there is definitely someone underneath that stone mask. Someone who is trying very hard to reach out to you." And perhaps failing miserably due to those fantastically awkward and mixed signal. The woman rubs her left cheek for a moment, before letting her right hand fall to her side, supporting her bust with her both arms. "But let me say it again. It is not a ghost." The woman then puts that step forwards that she'd taken back previously, and looks at the wing which Sinya had just knocked her fist against. She didn't need to be no NewType to read this cat-girl's emotions. But then, she /was/ coming out and saying she cared for Xiang. But she'd figured as much from talking to the man. Or rather, from the hints she'd seen. She was incredibly perceptive after all. "As for the ship. It recognizes that the captain has feelings for you." God, can she be any more direct than that? Probably. "So it tried to put a link between you two. Of course, with you not having actually accepted her, I don't think she can." The woman shrugs for amoment, then begins to wander straight for Sinya, to get within that which would normally be concidered the comfort zone. Most normal people would have long ago learned what it is like to open yourself up to others, but there is so much of life that Sinya missed out on. Those growing up years most get to spend out there, living, loving, making mistakes, and figuring out who they are - those years were taken so brutally away from her in a matter of moments. Self-reliance only goes so far, though, especially for someone who's very nature wants to be part of something more. "No. It isn't your story to tell, I know that." She lets a breath out between her lips, closing her eyes for a moment as she nods her head. There is a small, funny feeling in her chest when she says those words: 'Someone who is trying very hard to reach out to you.' It is almost pain, or perhaps regret. Lifting a hand to her chest, Sinya's eyes look to Yu with that haunted expression to them. "You know my people. You know what Zaibach does to them." Her breathing picks up pace a bit, as if the memories were just lingering beneath the surface. "I've tried so hard to forget about those days. To push past them. I stand on my own two feet and make my own way in the world, but..." Swallowing, Sinya's ears stay drawn back, obviously uncomfortable. "But I don't want to share that with him... I don't want /anyone/ to see me like that. That's why I'm afraid." There was the core of it. Whatever else she might have said fades out as the words strike her. His feelings. Sure, she could read the signs as well as he could read them in her, but she still had so many misgivings. "And that scares me, too. I'm not human. I'm not like you, or Xiang, or any of the others on the SuiKyosha. Your customs, your rules, your ways... they aren't my ways and never will be." Her eyes watch the other woman's approach, although she doesn't make any move to retreat. Perhaps that alone shows how much trust she has in the Chinese woman. "Even if he does have feelings for me... even if I feel for him, where does it go? Your people might accept me as a mechanic, but I doubt most of them other than the hangar crew even see me as a person. I'm just a /beastman/." Her tail lashes even as she holds her hands out, showing her claws. "I can't be with him, not that way. It would never be accepted. And I won't be just one of the Emporer's concubines when he finds someone that fits his role in life." Before Yu can interject on that note, she points out, "Yes, I was told about that, too. And I shouldn't have had to hear it from the hangar crew, either." Her lips press together, then her eyes look away again. This was /hard/. Standing up for herself, stating her feelings, it's not an easy task for someone so cautious about trusting anyone. "Your past is your own. Whether you want to tell it to him, is your choice. Nobody will force that from you, not even the SuiKyosha. I am quite sure she means well." Yu Zhi Wu replies after Sinya finishes speaking of the Zaibach empire. "You don't need to go back to that history, nor do you need to let anyone see you like that. Though if anyone did, I am quite certain that Yuan wouldn't really see you as any less of a person." She shakes her head. That man too, had a troublesome past. Perhaps it was not as terrible of one as Sinya's, but it was one that he never wanted to share with anyone. "As for our ways. I don't know if you've noticed, but as much as Yuan may preach certain things, he's slowly alterin the way the people on that ship see things. It has a tourism area, and he keeps getting them exposed to other viewpoints by letting people from the Mystic Moon visit the ship. He no longer wants to hold onto those old ways of doing things." Yu pauses for a moment, giving those claws a quick look, before reaching out towards those same hands and trying to place her own over them, in order to 'close' Sinay's hands. "It's alright. Things are changing." The woman leans in a bit. Sinya would probably have noticed the rich and enticing perfume's aroma on her by now. It was flowery. "As for the concubines. As much as I have no problems with him having multiple wives, he'll have none of it no matter how much I push him. Trust me, there are plenty of women out there who would use their charm on him and take him away. He's rejected all of them." This was not a rumor on board the ship because Xiang had the ability to keep things a secret. Miss Wu lowers herself a bit and tries to look into those big eyes of Sinya's, trying to get th girl to look at her. "The people on the ship accept you already. Most of the hangar crew sees you as part of their 'family'. They may not come out and say it, but they do." Thank SuiKyosha for letting Xiang listen in on them, and passing it along to Yu. "How do I know that?" Is Sinya's most obvious response, looking at Yu Zhi Wu as if she were the source of all answers in the universe. The truth is, with how secretive Xiang can be, she probably is her one source of real information about things. "If it... if she can fish around in my head, in my heart, without my permission, how do I know what is or isn't getting passed around?" For someone who is so cautious and carefully sheltered, sharing any part of herself that openly is just a bit frightening. She is only just now starting to accept people as friends, as comrads, but showing her entire heart to anyone? That is /scary/. "And who else is exactly tied in to this? You at the very least. Anyone else I need to be aware of?" Better to know who /might/ have inside information about her, at least. Still, that line of questioning seems to linger in the background as she tries to come to grips with things. Hadn't Xiang himself said that he was trying to change things? She hadn't believed him then, not seeing the way he spoke. Sometimes it was hard to accept that his words were different than his actions. Her eyes look down to where Yu's hands rest over her own, but she doesn't draw away, simply looking at the contrast - human skin against beastman. Her nose twitches once before her head lifts. "Change is hard, Zhi Wu. It's been two years, and I'm just starting to change, myself. It will be a longer, harder road for them. There are so many, and they'll cling to those old ways feircely." Her ears do lift, though, although it's certainly a puzzled expression that lingers on her face. "I'm not sure I understand. Why reject them?" This sounds familiar. Hadn't Edward said he did the same thing? "Is that a male thing?" This question sounds almost comical, one ear lifting and the other tipping over sideways. "To have hordes of people interested in you and deny them for some unimaginable reason?" She laughs, although it is short and still a bit humorless. "Guess I'm no better, since I refused a date with Edward, but he was trying to mix business with pleasure and it's not a good idea. Otherwise it's just been drunk flyboys interested in a romp with the freak-show." A sigh blows a few strands of hair up from her face, "The hangar guys are great. But I have two words for you. Feng. Liu." "She doesn't really get information like that. She just reads the active thoughts - /if/ she does. Usually, she just listens in one what people are doing. She's a living ship, and she knows everything that goes on inside of her." She pauses for a moment. "Which can be a bit unsettling. Darn voyeur ship." She figured that Sinya should be able to follow that train of thought. "Ah. And when she reads your mind, you're connected to me and Xiang. So... well... you'd notice. As would Yuan. And SuiKyosha listens when he gets angry." "And yes, change is hard. But you must not underestimate just how loyal he people are to 'Emperor Xiang'. It is a slow and tedious change. And I think it's one of the reasons he doesn' want to reach out too fiercely to you. He is afraid he would hurt you." She pauses, still looking into Sinya's eyes, and keeping her hands on hers. "At least, I think that's how it is. I'm not him. And as much as I understand him, there are things that even he manages to keep secret from me." "Anyhow." The woman declares, letting go of her hands, and then moves her hands a bit sideways, apparently offering Sinya a hug. "Come here." She offers nicely. "As for him rejecting them. They come to him, declaring their love, without even knowing him. They just want to be with him for his power, or money. He sees right through them. He even sees their disloyalty." And that would explain why he tried to reach out for Sinya as well. "As for Feng. Let that /idiot/ brood on his own. Ever since he showed disrespect to Emperor Xiang, he's been somewhat of an outcast. Yuan's keeping an ear out for his actions, in case he does something stupid." At the very least, getting a better understanding of what the ship does or doesn't know comes as a bit more of a comfort for Sinya. "I'd think most of my thoughts would be pretty boring. Machines, machines, ooh more machines. Food. Sleep." This time the laugh that follows seems more amused, and the catgirl actually manages to give a half-smile. "It is nice to know, though. I'm not sure I'd have ever been comfortable going back if I thought she could just pluck my memories right out of my head and put them on display." It's doubtful anyone would feel very comfortable in that kind of situation. Her mouth does lift in a smirk as she glances at Yu Zhi Wu, "Yeah, I'm sure there's some things about your crew you just don't want to see." The smile does fade slightly though, "But... I guess we'll see how it goes. I don't think the SuiKyosha was able to make much headway with me anyways. Like I said, it was pretty confusing." She seems to take in the words about Xiang with a nod of her head. Her own feelings about the man are still quite confused, but at the very least she understood some things a bit better now. "Could you tell him... that I'll be back in a couple of days." Before Yu can argue with this, she raises a hand gently, "I've got a project I need to finish with Arius, and I still need a bit of time to get my head, and my heart on strait." She looks at the invitation for a hug cautiously as always, but seems to relax after a moment, moving in to slip her arms around the taller woman. Her head lightly comes to rest against Yu's shoulder. "Thank you." The catgirl whispers, and then draws back again. For the time being, she doesn't mention anything further about Feng Liu. Instead, Sinya crouches and scoops up her sketchbook, offering it out. "Could you give this to Yuan for me, too? Maybe... it'll set his mind at ease." Within the pages, there were many drawings of the people of the SuiKyosha. Ling, Yu Zhi Wu herself, the hangar crew, but more than the others there are sketches of the Captain. Everything from him standing stone-faced as he did the first day they met, to more recent, subtle images with him thoughtful, commanding, concerned. "The one on the second to last page is my favorite." Sinya's eyes glance downward, almost shyly, rocking back on her heels. The image on that page? It's certainly the captain, drawn in the same style as the others, but the unusual thing about that page is that he's smiling - a rare sight indeed. "I'm glad I could put your mind to ease." The SuiKyosha's XO comments. "I figured you just needed to talk to someone who knew what was going on, and doesn't dance around the bush like the Captain does." Again, straight to the point. Or was that just a lack of tact? There's a fine line between the two. Yu takes the cat-girl into her embrace, and pulls her close against her chest. No, she's not trying to suffocate her. The woman doesn't comment ny further on the SuiKyosha. But when Sinya comments that she'd be back in a few days, se indeed was about to argue, when Sinya raised that hand. "Alright." Her eyes calm, and she nods at the gil within her arms. She lets go again, as the cat-girl pulls out of the embrace. "Hrrm?" Sketchbook? The woman takes it and quickly begins paging through it, without the girl even having to say for whom it is. She seems to appreciate each picture, smiling at some of them. She stops at her on picture... then looks down upon herself. "My boobs aren't /that/ big." Pause. "Are they?" She rarely looked at a mirror, as she didn't like looking at her scar. "Maybe I should go on a diet again." No, she really shouldn't. She pages further, and starts finding the entire expose of Xiang. She has to chuckle at a few of them, until she finds that smiling version. She smiles... and there's something behind that smile. A longing? "It's been a long time since I've seen him smile like that." She says. "He changed so much since~..." She cuts herself off. Too much information. "No matter." She turns about and quickly waves at the catgirl. "I'll see you in a few days then." And she begins her descent to the bottom of the outlook, so she can get back onto that RideBack. Maybe she'll actually read the instructions when he gets back. "It helps." Sinya nods. If nothing else, the XO's way of getting to the point certainly is able to clear up some of the fog in her mind and give her some better idea of how to move forward. Just exactly what she'll do, that's another question entirely, but at least the worst of the fear and misgivings have passed. With a laugh, Sinya nods her head when Yu starts to discuss the qualities of the picture. "That's not a bad thing, you know." She notes, leaning back once more against Arius's wing. "And trust me, you don't need a diet. You're beautiful." The compliment does come off sounding a little jealous, but just a /little/. But what really strikes the catgirl is the comment about Xiang. It leaves her... as always, a little confused about the relationship between Yu and the Captain. "Uh, yeah, see you!" She offers, raising a hand just in time to see the XO disappear beyond the edge of the ridge. Looking upward, her eyes take in her mech, speaking almost as if she were talking to an old friend. "Guess we need to figure out what to do now, huh?" She asks, and as expected, gets no answer in return. Category:Logs